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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24210082">Batista Bomb</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadManta/pseuds/MadManta'>MadManta</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Compilation of Final Fantasy VII</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Humor, Rude is a terrifying snack, Thirst Piece, WWE Moves</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:08:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,027</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24210082</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadManta/pseuds/MadManta</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Turks catch one of their own at the gym and can't look away.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>(IMPLIED), Reno/Rude (Compilation of FFVII)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>120</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Batista Bomb</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Inspired by <a href="https://twitter.com/sumnnine/status/1261051891196313600">this thirst trap Rude art</a>.<br/>And after you've read this, go Youtube Batista Bombs. And then try and not think about Rude doing WWE moves 24/7. That's right. You can't.<br/>Find me on twitter: @MantaWords</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You have <em>got</em> to come over to the officers’ gym,” Elena said, holding her hand up to muffle her voice from carrying past the phone. “Right now.”</p><p>“Elena, I’m about ten minutes of flirting from finally bagging Tiffany from HR—”</p><p>“<em>Right now!</em>” She hung up, standing in front of the large glass wall that separated the large gym space from the rest of the office. She had gone to the break room to microwave some popcorn when she had to stop to look. Inside were a few machines, but mainly open floor space, punching bags, exercise balls, free weights, and barbells.</p><p>Also inside was her fellow Turk, Rude, in nothing but baggy pants and wrapped hands. Even his customary sunglasses were tucked away somewhere safely. He had only been in there for ten, maybe fifteen minutes, and was currently beating the snot out of an unsuspecting punching bag.</p><p>A dozen other lower class officers were in the gym, but they were practically invisible compared to the brick <span class="pwa-mark decorator">shithouse</span> that was Rude. Elena didn’t mean to get stuck outside, staring in disbelief at the tall man’s sculpted physique, but every punch caused a new muscle to jiggle enticingly. She shoved a handful of popcorn into her mouth unselfconsciously.</p><p>She was almost pressed against the glass when she heard, “This had <em>better</em> be goo—” and the sound of one redheaded man choking on his juice box.</p><p>Rude was shifting around the punching bag, showing an obscenely defined back as he shuffled and attacked. One very lucky pearl of sweat was slip-n-sliding down his spine and curving around his scapula before falling into the divine divot of his tailbone.</p><p>Reno joined her up against the glass. “Holy shit,” he whispered.</p><p>“I <em>told you</em>,” she hissed in response.</p><p>Rude had only just begun to sweat, dancing away from the punching bag. He jumped up and down, shaking out his wrists and neck, before turning around to the other officers in the gym. Elena and Reno heard a muffled request, unsure of what he’d said, when they saw a few of the officers come up to him. Three total, plus Rude.</p><p>“What’s he doing?” Elena asked.</p><p>Reno squeezed the juice box, sucking down the remnants in one desperate <span class="pwa-mark decorator">chug</span>. The straw slurped. “<span class="pwa-mark decorator">Oh</span> my god.”</p><p>The three officers shared looks amongst themselves and then surrounded Rude.</p><p>“Oh <em>my god</em>,” Elena and Reno said in sync.</p><p>The Turks had seen Rude fight plenty of times. He was the biggest muscle in the house. He favored hand to hand combat and had a bit of a flare for the dramatic with his fire materia. But he also had a preference for modesty and looking like a million <span class="pwa-mark decorator">gil</span>, so he was usually dressed from neck to toe in finely fitted suits, pocket squares and all.</p><p>As he dropped to the floor to sweep kick one officer and then tackle another, it was very clear where all that strength came from. It bulged in every square inch of his cedar skin, every tight movement causing a ripple of muscle. His arms had prominent veins, and to be frank, so did his lower abdomen. Both Reno and Elena may have let their eyes graze where those particular veins disappeared under the waistband of his sweats.</p><p>“What are you two doing?”</p><p>Neither looked up, even at the sound of Tseng’s voice. “Nothing,” they said in unison, gaping like goldfish.</p><p>“Then stop wasting my time and <span class="pwa-mark decorator">yours,</span> and g<span class="pwa-mark decorator">…</span>o…” Tseng’s voice trailed off. He stepped up next to Elena, gazing. “Why is Rude shirtless?”</p><p>“Is that guy crying?” Reno asked, crushing the box in his hand.</p><p>The man who Rude was about to suplex was <em>absolutely</em> crying.</p><p>The other officers in the gym were yelling, <span class="pwa-mark decorator">now,</span> dropping their weights and hopping up from push-ups. They all ran at Rude.</p><p>The three Turks all pressed against the glass with renewed interest.</p><p>Rude knocked one out with one kick and a sharp punch to a man behind him without even looking. Four of them shrieked and leaped on him all at once, attempting to bring the force of nature down. Rude twisted, managing to slam one down into the mat and then yanking another by the leg, throwing him into the third. The fourth scrabbled away on his ass, and Rude seemed to have forgotten he was just sparring with his colleagues as he stalked after the man who was actively attempting to escape with shaking limbs.</p><p>Tseng and Reno reached over Elena to grab popcorn, rapt, as Rude dove on the man, picking him up by the legs until his thighs rode Rude’s shoulders. Reno stopped chewing, mouth hanging open, at the sight of some Shinra officer’s junk directly in Rude’s face, before Rude slammed the man down on the mat. Popcorn fell to the floor.</p><p>There was no man left. Only Rude, slick with sweat, mouth twisted into a grin. He reached down, holding out a hand to pull the most recently destroyed man up, patting him too hard on the back. Rude turned, saying something to the others.</p><p>They all responded in unison, so it was easy to hear: “Thanks, Rude.”</p><p>“Told you this was better than Tiffany from HR,” Elena said.</p><p>“Who the fuck is Tiffany from HR,” Reno replied.</p><p>Only then did Rude look up and notice his coworkers staring at him through the glass wall, eyes wide and mouths open. He shrugged, pulling a pair of sunglasses out of his sweats — “Where. <em>Where were those</em>,” Reno gasped — and placing them on before coming out of the gym <span class="pwa-mark decorator">area.</span> The Shinra officers were holding each other up, groaning, being led out in a parade march.</p><p>“Told them I’d get them all drinks on the Turks tab,” Rude said, tossing a towel over his shoulder. “Gotta go get changed.”</p><p>“<em>I’ll come!</em>” Reno said, throwing an arm over Rude’s shoulder as they walked to the locker room. Reno turned his head to look at Elena and Tseng and stuck his thumb up with approval.</p><p>Tseng and Elena stared after them, frozen in place, before Tseng said: “Want to find the security feed with me?”</p><p>“<span class="pwa-mark decorator">Yes</span> please.”</p>
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